1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:03,084 Don't worry about nothing Don't worry about me 2 00:00:03,085 --> 00:00:04,502 No, no 3 00:00:04,503 --> 00:00:06,671 Hands in the skies I got all I need 4 00:00:06,672 --> 00:00:09,551 {\an8}Professor Friedman, thank you so much for agreeing to meet with us. 5 00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:12,635 {\an8}I'm sure you have much better things to be doing with your time. 6 00:00:12,636 --> 00:00:13,553 I do. 7 00:00:13,554 --> 00:00:18,101 Right, I am afraid, we have some potentially upsetting news. 8 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:22,772 You see, Brian and I are... involved. 9 00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:25,607 Romantically. 10 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:26,901 That's it? 11 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,527 I thought you were gonna tell me you plagiarized something 12 00:00:29,528 --> 00:00:30,611 or did a hit-and-run. 13 00:00:30,612 --> 00:00:34,284 Oh, it's just, you said you don't like it when students in your symposium date. 14 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,491 Well, yeah. 15 00:00:35,492 --> 00:00:37,452 But I thought maybe you would be normal about it 16 00:00:37,453 --> 00:00:38,411 and just do it behind my back. 17 00:00:38,412 --> 00:00:39,537 Got it. 18 00:00:39,538 --> 00:00:43,918 So you don't need this written statement formally disclosing our relationship? 19 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,755 No. Just don't let things get messy. 20 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,175 You're both smart and mildly tolerable. 21 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,215 Thank you. 22 00:00:51,216 --> 00:00:52,925 I don't wanna have to replace one of you. 23 00:00:52,926 --> 00:00:54,052 Understood. 24 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:58,641 We will be careful, take things slow, and just not let it get messy. 25 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,602 Absolutely. No mess here. 26 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,771 Sex is so much better with someone who stimulates your mind. 27 00:01:04,772 --> 00:01:05,982 Yeah, I agree. 28 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:11,444 The Foucault Reader! I didn't know you were a fan. 29 00:01:11,445 --> 00:01:12,445 I love Foucault. 30 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:15,156 His philosophy on prison reform was so ahead of its time. 31 00:01:15,157 --> 00:01:18,578 You're so fucking smart! 32 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:21,746 Kevin, what the hell? 33 00:01:21,747 --> 00:01:23,831 Sorry. My bad, Brian. I... 34 00:01:23,832 --> 00:01:26,459 Hey, I don't think we have officially met. I'm Kevin. 35 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:28,755 - Kevin, get out! - Okay, okay, okay! 36 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,132 Where were we? 37 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,135 - Yeah... - Foucault. 38 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,263 And I can't find my chill I must have lost it... 39 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,641 I don't even know I'm talkin' nonsense 40 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,233 This is good. What is this? 41 00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,942 It's actually just whipped cream. It's called a puppy cup. 42 00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:53,861 And technically, it's for dogs, but they don't know who's drinking it. 43 00:01:53,862 --> 00:01:57,450 Oh, that explains why the name on my cup is Bandit. 44 00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,659 Thanks for meeting up. 45 00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:02,578 I feel like things have been a bit weird between us 46 00:02:02,579 --> 00:02:04,831 ever since I've told you how many people I slept with. 47 00:02:04,832 --> 00:02:08,211 Yeah, about that, I owe you an apology. 48 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,461 I didn't react to that well. 49 00:02:10,462 --> 00:02:12,630 Hey, tell you what, though, say your number again, 50 00:02:12,631 --> 00:02:14,676 and I promise I'll react a lot better this time. 51 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,217 Twenty. 52 00:02:16,218 --> 00:02:19,095 Twenty? No way, that's like my favorite even number. 53 00:02:19,096 --> 00:02:21,097 Well, I'm ready to move past it, if you are. 54 00:02:21,098 --> 00:02:23,307 I am. Especially, now that I got tested. 55 00:02:23,308 --> 00:02:25,687 I feel a lot better knowing that I didn't catch any STIs. 56 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,396 Wait, what? Sorry, you mean from me? 57 00:02:28,397 --> 00:02:31,065 Yeah, but that means you're clean, too. So that's good news. 58 00:02:31,066 --> 00:02:34,193 But you still should get tested for HPV since there's no test for men. 59 00:02:34,194 --> 00:02:37,574 Oh, okay. That's really, really good to know. 60 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,242 Kimberly, you haven't touched your food. What's wrong? 61 00:02:41,243 --> 00:02:44,581 I lost my appetite. Do you know who's coming to speak at Essex? 62 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,540 Nathan Riggs. 63 00:02:47,541 --> 00:02:49,085 Wait, fuck that guy. 64 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,127 Didn't he write a book about women called Babymakers? 65 00:02:51,128 --> 00:02:54,881 - Yup. - My weird distant cousin loves him, 66 00:02:54,882 --> 00:02:56,843 which means he's really bad. 67 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,971 I can't believe that Essex is giving this piece of shit a platform. 68 00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:04,267 Bela, you just sighed so hard, it blew my napkin away. 69 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,686 - Are you pissed about Nathan Riggs, too? - Who? 70 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,437 No, I don't know what you're talking about. 71 00:03:09,438 --> 00:03:13,359 I'm pissed because Arvind thinks I'm a dirty slut with a bunch of STIs. 72 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,526 - He said that? - Not in so many words, 73 00:03:15,527 --> 00:03:17,862 but he did run to get tested as soon as I told him 74 00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:19,282 how many people I've slept with. 75 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,635 Does he not know how often you get tested? I mean, no offense. 76 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:25,161 No, none taken. I may be a slut, but I'm an ethical slut. 77 00:03:25,162 --> 00:03:26,746 I go to the health clinic so often, 78 00:03:26,747 --> 00:03:28,789 they invite me to their staff holiday party. 79 00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:31,711 The nurse there is my emergency contact. 80 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:35,463 Why is it that guys can brag about how many women they've slept with, 81 00:03:35,464 --> 00:03:36,464 but women can't? 82 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:39,926 I worked hard on my numbers, especially number eight. 83 00:03:39,927 --> 00:03:41,471 Remember that Victorian Studies major? 84 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:44,974 I had to read so much Dickens just to get that dick in. 85 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:50,188 Sorry, I know you're upset, but this is the funniest you've ever been. 86 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,313 Yeah, you're always trying so hard to be funny, 87 00:03:52,314 --> 00:03:54,067 but you're actually being funny. 88 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,817 Seriously, there's a storytelling show at Sips. 89 00:03:56,818 --> 00:03:57,902 You should perform at it. 90 00:03:57,903 --> 00:04:00,823 Me? But I hate being the center of attention. 91 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:02,575 I'll check it out. 92 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,078 So, I have a big update. 93 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,287 You and Canaan are officially back together? 94 00:04:08,288 --> 00:04:11,290 No, Isaiah and I just broke things off. But I am seeing someone new. 95 00:04:11,291 --> 00:04:12,375 What? 96 00:04:12,376 --> 00:04:13,584 I'm gonna start therapy. 97 00:04:13,585 --> 00:04:15,586 - That's amazing. - Good for you. 98 00:04:15,587 --> 00:04:18,787 Yeah, I don't know if you guys noticed, but I've been feeling overwhelmed lately. 99 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,343 - What? - Why? 100 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:25,388 Okay, damn, so you did notice. I guess it's a good thing I'm going. 101 00:04:25,389 --> 00:04:27,974 Therapy is really important. I think everyone should do it. 102 00:04:27,975 --> 00:04:30,309 I can't yet because I'm still gathering my mistakes, 103 00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:33,898 so it would be a waste right now, but I'm happy you're going. 104 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,195 Girls, I have a little treat for everyone. 105 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,740 These are $10 gift cards to the frozen yogurt shop. 106 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,367 You shouldn't have. 107 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,619 But also, why did you? 108 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,578 Because I'd like for you to use them tonight, 109 00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:53,418 so that I can have the room to myself for a very special reason. 110 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,042 - Oh, my God. - For sex? 111 00:04:55,043 --> 00:04:57,046 So that I can be one with Cooper. 112 00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:58,129 Oh, wow, the wording. 113 00:04:58,130 --> 00:04:59,547 Oh, my God, this is incredible. 114 00:04:59,548 --> 00:05:01,382 What positions are you gonna do? I can help you. 115 00:05:01,383 --> 00:05:03,926 I have a Google Doc full of my favorites. I'll share it right now. 116 00:05:03,927 --> 00:05:05,094 No, I'm all set! 117 00:05:05,095 --> 00:05:06,721 I'm ready. I worked all morning 118 00:05:06,722 --> 00:05:09,517 to set up my room to be the perfect place for my first time. 119 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:10,810 That's really sweet. 120 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,436 - I'm so happy for you. - Yeah, let me show you! 121 00:05:13,437 --> 00:05:14,564 Come on. 122 00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:19,191 - Don't you just love it? - Wow. 123 00:05:19,192 --> 00:05:23,112 It's exactly how I've always imagined it. Isn't it perfect? 124 00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:26,701 - Uh-huh. - It's very princess. 125 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,537 Thank you. And this isn't even the full effect. 126 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,370 I've also prepared a playlist of songs 127 00:05:31,371 --> 00:05:33,666 from the most romantic Disney kissing scenes. 128 00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:36,085 And are you looking for a feedback? 129 00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:37,086 Not really. 130 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:38,504 - I love it! - How cool! 131 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,423 Okay, I should get going. I don't want to cry yet. 132 00:05:42,424 --> 00:05:44,594 Oh, okay. 133 00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:46,386 Yet? 134 00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:52,433 So, I'd love to avoid talking about my mom, my dad, 135 00:05:52,434 --> 00:05:54,935 and anyone I've dated past or present. 136 00:05:54,936 --> 00:05:56,479 Oh, and childhood traumas involving pets. 137 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,064 Got it. Yeah. 138 00:05:58,065 --> 00:06:01,361 That leaves me with a lot to, uh, not work with. 139 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,445 Is it normal to start therapy by listing what you don't wanna talk about? 140 00:06:04,446 --> 00:06:07,365 Around here, we don't really use the word 'normal'. 141 00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,410 So, is it common? 142 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,579 - No. - Got it. 143 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,664 So, Whitney, what brought you in today? 144 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:20,171 Uh, all right. I guess, I've just been feeling overwhelmed 145 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:25,257 for months between the classes, and labs, and practices, 146 00:06:25,258 --> 00:06:26,926 and games and friendships. 147 00:06:26,927 --> 00:06:30,429 I just feel like I have more things to do than I can possibly get done, 148 00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:33,265 and sometimes the stress of it all makes me panic so badly, 149 00:06:33,266 --> 00:06:36,102 that I can't think straight, and all of the things that I have to do 150 00:06:36,103 --> 00:06:40,149 just keep piling higher and I just want a little break. 151 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,274 Yeah. And what's stopping you from that? 152 00:06:42,275 --> 00:06:46,028 From taking a break? I don't know, everything. 153 00:06:46,029 --> 00:06:48,322 Just because I want something, doesn't mean I can have it. 154 00:06:48,323 --> 00:06:52,495 You keep saying "want," but it sounds like it's something you need. 155 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,577 What's the difference? 156 00:06:53,578 --> 00:06:57,456 Well, for example, "I want to eat at Arby's for every meal, 157 00:06:57,457 --> 00:07:00,962 but I need to fit into a tight karate gi for my blue belt test. 158 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:04,590 So I will eat at Arby's afterwards to celebrate." Does that make sense? 159 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:05,883 No. 160 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,468 You need a day off. 161 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,093 I can't do that. 162 00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:11,931 My soccer team is in the playoffs. My coach would never go for that. 163 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:15,599 Whitney, when you tell someone what you need, 164 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,937 their reaction shows you a lot about them. 165 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,438 A day off is not a big ask. 166 00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:23,568 I take them all the time. Take one every year for my dog's birthday. 167 00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,446 - I like that. - So does my dog. 168 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:31,868 Yeah. Okay, I will take a day. 169 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:34,954 Wow. 170 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:37,165 So, that was therapy. 171 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:40,793 No, you actually still have 43 minutes to fill. 172 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,920 Should we talk about your parents' divorce? 173 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,725 I didn't tell you my parents were divorced. 174 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,299 I can just always tell. 175 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,929 - Yeah. - Taylor! 176 00:07:53,930 --> 00:07:56,140 God, you missed such a good FAF meeting today. 177 00:07:56,141 --> 00:07:58,434 We sang "Happy Birthday" to that really quiet girl 178 00:07:58,435 --> 00:07:59,643 whose name everyone forgets. 179 00:07:59,644 --> 00:08:00,811 - Mavis? - Is that it? 180 00:08:00,812 --> 00:08:02,605 God, I literally just looked this up. 181 00:08:02,606 --> 00:08:04,567 On some level, I am going to miss 182 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,192 those boring meetings. 183 00:08:06,193 --> 00:08:07,193 What do you mean miss? 184 00:08:07,194 --> 00:08:10,865 Oh, I am leaving the dorms. I'm moving in with Ash. 185 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:14,074 A bunch of space just opened up at my place because my roommate 186 00:08:14,075 --> 00:08:16,496 finally got called up to Cirque du Soleil. 187 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,539 Someone fell. 188 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,749 Uh, Ash, could you excuse us for a moment? 189 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:22,752 Yeah. 190 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,465 You're moving out of North Conn? 191 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,133 Taylor, this is crazy. 192 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:33,302 Is it? Or is it crazy to keep living with my straight roommate 193 00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:36,597 who I was briefly in love with, but got rejected by 194 00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:38,726 mid-kiss at a gay rodeo? 195 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,436 Okay, fair point. 196 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:43,479 But don't you think it's a little early to move in with Ash? 197 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,856 Aren't you supposed to be avoiding major life changes 198 00:08:45,857 --> 00:08:47,024 in the midst of your sobriety? 199 00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:49,109 This is like trading one kind of obsession for another. 200 00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:51,195 That is ridiculous. 201 00:08:51,196 --> 00:08:53,239 Ash is nothing like alcohol. 202 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,407 She has never made me piss my pants in a taxi. 203 00:08:55,408 --> 00:08:57,703 I think I know what's best for you here. 204 00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,955 Since I'm moving out of the dorm, you're not gonna be my FAF anymore, 205 00:09:00,956 --> 00:09:03,209 so, doesn't matter what you think. 206 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:07,463 Should we all grab some food together? It feels like grilled cheese weather. 207 00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,132 Are you okay? 208 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,634 What up? What did I miss? 209 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,343 We're fine. Thank you for your help, Bela. 210 00:09:14,344 --> 00:09:16,973 You can have whatever I've left in the dorm. 211 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:21,102 Like that weird radio that you gave me, keeps beeping... 212 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,062 The carbon monoxide detector? 213 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,562 Is that what that is? 214 00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:27,191 Okay, you really need to check on it. It's very upset. 215 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,777 - That's really scary. - Why? 216 00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:35,032 Who doesn't love a little chaos 217 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,731 Hey, signup sheet is over there. 218 00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:08,566 No. I'm actually just watching the show. 219 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:11,984 Really? We don't get a lot of real audience members. 220 00:10:11,985 --> 00:10:14,403 Everyone in the crowd is usually waiting to get onstage. 221 00:10:14,404 --> 00:10:17,241 Except Soup Man. Steer clear of Soup Man. 222 00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,408 - Does Sips sell soup? - They do not. 223 00:10:19,409 --> 00:10:21,829 Let's stop saying the word "soup." He might come over. 224 00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:23,314 So, how'd you hear about the show? 225 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:26,667 My friend. I used to do comedy last year, so I thought I'd check it out. 226 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,460 If you do comedy, we could really use you onstage... 227 00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:33,422 We got a lot of people who like to do loud eurythmic slam poetry, 228 00:10:33,423 --> 00:10:35,090 which is as unfunny as it sounds. 229 00:10:35,091 --> 00:10:36,091 I'll think about it. 230 00:10:36,092 --> 00:10:37,217 I better get the show started. 231 00:10:37,218 --> 00:10:39,011 We have four hours of stories to get through. 232 00:10:39,012 --> 00:10:40,721 Wow, that's a lot of storytellers. 233 00:10:40,722 --> 00:10:44,352 No, that's the worst part. Just a few really long bad ones. 234 00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,312 - Oh, no. - Yeah. 235 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:50,232 Okay, let's get started. Please take your seats. 236 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,609 Welcome to the show, everyone. I'm your host, Haley. 237 00:10:53,610 --> 00:10:57,655 And remember, I'm gay, so using the bathroom during any of my stories 238 00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,782 is technically a hate crime. 239 00:10:59,783 --> 00:11:03,162 And if you feel a yawn coming on, please hold it for the next performer. 240 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:11,671 Oh, Cooper. 241 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,801 I'm so glad you're my first. 242 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,259 Yeah, me too. 243 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,598 What's on your window? 244 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,351 Oh, it's a print of a sunset. 245 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:28,229 I always imagined I'd lose my virginity at magic hour. 246 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,066 Got it. Okay. Yeah. 247 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,654 I'm ready. 248 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:42,326 I'm really, really ready. 249 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,578 I'm definitely, uh... 250 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,416 not ready. 251 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,541 I'm very unready. 252 00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:53,045 - What's wrong? Is it me? - No! No, no, no, no. 253 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,338 Maybe... Like, it's not you. 254 00:11:56,339 --> 00:11:58,968 There's just a lot going on in here. 255 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,093 Is it the twinkle lights? I could switch them to disco mode. 256 00:12:01,094 --> 00:12:05,558 Oh. Oh! Wow, that's something. 257 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:09,437 Well, let's see if that made you a little more ready. 258 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,273 Oh, not yet. Okay. 259 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,575 Guys, look what just came in. 260 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:26,370 It's my new weighted blanket. 261 00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,162 That looks really heavy. 262 00:12:28,163 --> 00:12:31,290 Yeah. The therapist suggested I get one for my anxiety. 263 00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:33,961 So, I looked online and found a company that sells an 80 pounder. 264 00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,086 I'm gonna smush myself to calm. 265 00:12:36,087 --> 00:12:37,838 Sounds like therapy went well? 266 00:12:37,839 --> 00:12:39,798 It did. Yeah. The therapist was so helpful. 267 00:12:39,799 --> 00:12:44,096 He encouraged me to take today off from my responsibilities to just relax. 268 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,721 That's great. I love that for you. 269 00:12:45,722 --> 00:12:47,433 - Yeah. - And you really deserve it. 270 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:52,144 Okay. Yeah, this is good. 271 00:12:52,145 --> 00:12:54,521 Definitely not doing anything today because I can't move. 272 00:12:54,522 --> 00:12:56,690 Does anyone want a bunch of twinkly string lights? 273 00:12:56,691 --> 00:12:58,903 Since I'm remaining a virgin, I won't be needing them. 274 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,363 - It didn't happen? - No. 275 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:05,491 Maybe he's just not as into me as I thought he was. 276 00:13:05,492 --> 00:13:07,910 You did have a lot going in your room. 277 00:13:07,911 --> 00:13:10,329 Maybe just give him some space and check in later? 278 00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:11,747 I wish I could avoid him, 279 00:13:11,748 --> 00:13:13,918 but I have to see him again in two hours for rehearsal. 280 00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,835 The key to successfully avoiding someone 281 00:13:16,836 --> 00:13:21,423 is to show up late, leave early, and never make eye contact. 282 00:13:21,424 --> 00:13:23,302 People do it to me all the time. Really works. 283 00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:26,220 Okay. I don't think I can pull that off, but I'll try. 284 00:13:26,221 --> 00:13:28,349 I have something exciting to share. 285 00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,518 I sent my first ever nude pic. 286 00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:32,228 - What? - Kimberly Finkle! 287 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,271 I actually really enjoyed the experience. 288 00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:37,397 It was very empowering to celebrate my body. 289 00:13:37,398 --> 00:13:39,276 Especially my boobs and both nipples. 290 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,109 And of course, I kept my face out of it 291 00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:43,529 and took it against a nondescript section of my beige wall. 292 00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:46,408 Beige? Getting sexier by the minute. 293 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,160 Taking nudes is the best. 294 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,327 Sometimes I set a slideshow of mine to music 295 00:13:50,328 --> 00:13:52,996 and just watch it back like they're photos from a family vacation. 296 00:13:52,997 --> 00:13:56,794 I took 72 test shots, but I'm really proud of the one I sent. 297 00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,839 Can I... show you guys? 298 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:01,382 - Yes! - Of course! 299 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,216 Yay. 300 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:08,011 Good God. Your boobs are stunning. 301 00:14:08,012 --> 00:14:11,475 This is inspiring. Should I send a nude to Cooper? 302 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,811 Right, no. Give him space. 303 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,688 - Uh-oh. - What? 304 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,729 Kimberly, this is a live photo. 305 00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:19,231 When I hold my finger down, it shows your face. 306 00:14:19,232 --> 00:14:21,775 Are you fucking kidding me? 307 00:14:21,776 --> 00:14:25,114 Why are live photos even a thing? Photos shouldn't move. They're photos! 308 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,408 It's fine. I can barely tell it's you. 309 00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,867 Except for the high school diploma in the background. 310 00:14:29,868 --> 00:14:32,953 My God. No. I've spent so long trying to keep my record clean, 311 00:14:32,954 --> 00:14:35,457 and now my face and boobs are basically on Getty Images. 312 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,457 No. Don't spiral. It's just one guy. 313 00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:40,004 And I'm sure if you ask Brian, he'll delete the photo. 314 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:43,799 Yeah. And if you need help calming down before then, just slide in. 315 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,758 Ow! How did that hurt my hand? 316 00:14:46,759 --> 00:14:49,430 I feel like they sewed metal into the lining, or something. 317 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,766 - What's up? You okay? - Yeah. 318 00:14:54,767 --> 00:14:56,770 It's just about what I sent earlier. 319 00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:01,317 I realized my face is in the picture and I'm freaking out. 320 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,985 - Can you delete it? - Are you sure? It was really hot. 321 00:15:04,986 --> 00:15:06,405 Thanks. 322 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:10,782 But I really would prefer if you deleted it. 323 00:15:10,783 --> 00:15:13,871 Okay. I'll do it later. 324 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:17,080 I think I'd feel better if you did it now, in front of me. 325 00:15:17,081 --> 00:15:18,248 I just wanna know it's gone. 326 00:15:18,249 --> 00:15:22,379 What? Now? Do you not trust me or something? 327 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,089 This feels really weird. 328 00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:27,343 - I'm sorry. Are you mad at me? - Yeah. Kinda. 329 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,385 I was excited to see you. You just came in with this really... 330 00:15:30,386 --> 00:15:31,303 off-putting energy. 331 00:15:31,304 --> 00:15:33,557 I just don't want a naked photo of myself out there. 332 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:34,973 What do you mean out there? 333 00:15:34,974 --> 00:15:37,019 You think I'm gonna send it around to people? 334 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,067 Fine. 335 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,110 - It's gone. - Thanks. 336 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,323 Okay. I guess I'll go. 337 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:51,784 Yeah, sounds good. 338 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,290 There is no greater feeling 339 00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:03,543 than when one of my drama students begins working professionally. 340 00:16:03,544 --> 00:16:07,130 Therefore, I am thrilled to announce, Heather will be leaving Essex 341 00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:10,219 to compete on the next season of Survivor Teens. 342 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:13,220 Of course, because she was the lead in the musical, 343 00:16:13,221 --> 00:16:15,514 I will have to recast her role very quickly. 344 00:16:15,515 --> 00:16:16,767 I'd like to be considered. 345 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,935 Thank you for your interest. I'm not sure that's what's best for the show. 346 00:16:19,936 --> 00:16:22,062 I know someone who would be right for the show. 347 00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:26,777 And that person is me 348 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,905 I appreciate everyone's... enthusiasm. 349 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,614 But I will be making this decision myself. 350 00:16:32,615 --> 00:16:33,909 I think it should be Kacey. 351 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:37,536 Respectfully, I think she'd make a great scene partner. 352 00:16:37,537 --> 00:16:39,204 Does tech crew get a vote? 353 00:16:39,205 --> 00:16:40,539 - Lars. - All right. Sorry. 354 00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:43,291 I know I'm only supposed to weigh in on lighting and sound stuff, 355 00:16:43,292 --> 00:16:45,170 but it should clearly be Kacey. 356 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,045 Well, since everyone suddenly thinks 357 00:16:47,046 --> 00:16:48,672 this production is a democracy, 358 00:16:48,673 --> 00:16:51,927 and you all think it should be Kacey, then fine. 359 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:56,140 I'd love to see her try. Maybe she'll rise to the challenge. 360 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,563 Are you okay? Haven't seen you this mad since... 361 00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:07,401 Soup Man told you you look prettier when you smile. 362 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:11,528 I'm in a mood. Brian and I had a weird fight over a nude I sent him. 363 00:17:11,529 --> 00:17:14,573 I asked him to delete my picture and he got all gaslighty 364 00:17:14,574 --> 00:17:16,577 and made it seem like I was being unreasonable. 365 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,328 Hold on. Deleted it from what? 366 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,495 - From his phone. - Bitch, you never heard of the cloud? 367 00:17:20,496 --> 00:17:23,165 That picture is at least still on his computer or worse, 368 00:17:23,166 --> 00:17:25,169 being good jacked to by incels on the dark web. 369 00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,879 Oh, my God. I can't believe I have to go talk to him about this again. 370 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,422 We left things in such a bad place. 371 00:17:30,423 --> 00:17:32,259 I'll go. Give me five minutes alone with him 372 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,675 and I will get you the answers you need. 373 00:17:33,676 --> 00:17:35,802 - I know you're joking, but... - I'm dead serious. 374 00:17:35,803 --> 00:17:37,971 I will kick him in the dick, hard. 375 00:17:37,972 --> 00:17:40,599 Thank you, but physical violence won't be necessary. 376 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,851 Although it would be nice to have you there for support. 377 00:17:42,852 --> 00:17:46,730 I'm in. Let's go get rid of that pic of your tig ol' bitties. 378 00:17:46,731 --> 00:17:49,234 Not today, girl. Let's go. 379 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,821 Why do you have so much pep in your step today? 380 00:17:54,822 --> 00:17:57,741 I haven't seen you this happy since Bela's tie got caught in the elevator. 381 00:17:57,742 --> 00:18:00,579 I'm feeling good because I'm taking the day off to get my mind right. 382 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:01,745 - Seriously? - Mmm-hmm. 383 00:18:01,746 --> 00:18:03,455 Are you sure you can do that? 384 00:18:03,456 --> 00:18:05,373 Coach made me practice the day I got Lasik. 385 00:18:05,374 --> 00:18:06,376 I couldn't see shit. 386 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:09,586 I had to rely on echo location. Like a damn bat. 387 00:18:09,587 --> 00:18:11,298 Yeah, I know Coach Hale can be strict, 388 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:14,257 but I'm sure he'll understand once he knows how much I need this. 389 00:18:14,258 --> 00:18:16,468 Absolutely not. No days off. 390 00:18:16,469 --> 00:18:19,346 Yeah, I know that's your motto or whatever, 391 00:18:19,347 --> 00:18:21,225 but this isn't optional for me. 392 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,476 I really need this for my mental health. 393 00:18:24,477 --> 00:18:25,977 I'm sorry. I thought that was a joke. 394 00:18:25,978 --> 00:18:28,857 Look, being in a bad mood isn't an excuse to miss practice. 395 00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:31,441 I'm not in a bad mood. 396 00:18:31,442 --> 00:18:33,568 Okay. I've done everything you've asked of me. 397 00:18:33,569 --> 00:18:34,903 I played through an injury. 398 00:18:34,904 --> 00:18:38,740 Okay. But if you're not at practice, you can't start in the playoffs. 399 00:18:38,741 --> 00:18:41,785 What? It's just one practice. 400 00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:44,748 - And resting is gonna help me play better. - Sorry, my answer is no. 401 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:49,417 Wow. Okay. Then I guess don't worry about benching me, because I quit. 402 00:18:49,418 --> 00:18:50,418 What? 403 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,180 - Whoa, Whitney, are you okay? - I'm fine. 404 00:19:02,181 --> 00:19:04,182 I just... Um... 405 00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:07,312 I just quit soccer and I think I'm having a panic attack. 406 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:11,900 Okay. Just cool down. Just breathe. Just... 407 00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:15,819 - I need you to lay on me. - Huh? 408 00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:18,071 My weighted blanket is in my room. You weigh at least 80 pounds? 409 00:19:18,072 --> 00:19:19,950 - Yeah, I think. - Actually, it doesn't matter. 410 00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:22,828 Get on me now. 411 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,956 Okay. Okay. 412 00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:28,500 - Like this? - Yes. 413 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,211 - Okay. This is good. This is helping. - Okay. I'm glad. 414 00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:36,631 - Uh, is there anything else I can... - Shh, shh! 415 00:19:36,632 --> 00:19:37,801 Weighted blankets don't talk. 416 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:39,887 Okay. 417 00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:48,226 What are you writing? 418 00:19:48,227 --> 00:19:51,354 You've been working for an hour and you haven't checked your phone once. 419 00:19:51,355 --> 00:19:53,398 I'm getting manifesto energy. 420 00:19:53,399 --> 00:19:57,738 I am putting together ideas for a storytelling show. 421 00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:02,242 Oh, I love stories. Except scary ones. Too scary. 422 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,828 - So, what's the story about? - Well... 423 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:08,038 Your reaction to my body count helped me realize 424 00:20:08,039 --> 00:20:13,086 that I have all these funny sex stories and I wanna start sharing them. 425 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,795 Like, one time I hooked up with a guy in the computer lab, 426 00:20:15,796 --> 00:20:18,759 and afterwards, there was a full keyboard indented on my butt. 427 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:23,347 Um, why would you wanna talk about that in front of an audience? 428 00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:28,518 Because I think it would be funny and thought provoking. 429 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:34,814 Okay. I just don't know if I'm comfortable 430 00:20:34,815 --> 00:20:37,943 with the entire campus knowing the graphic details 431 00:20:37,944 --> 00:20:39,110 of my girlfriend's sex life. 432 00:20:39,111 --> 00:20:42,239 First of all, I'll be very surprised if everyone on campus 433 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,659 shows up for a storytelling show. 434 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,327 And why would people judge you based on my past? 435 00:20:47,328 --> 00:20:50,497 If anything, they'll judge me. Kinda like you did. 436 00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:52,332 Okay. So, you're still mad about that? 437 00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:55,085 No, it's fine. I'm just really excited about this show, 438 00:20:55,086 --> 00:20:57,420 and I was hoping that you would be too. 439 00:20:57,421 --> 00:20:59,466 I am not. 440 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,842 I'm sorry, Bela. I really like you, 441 00:21:02,843 --> 00:21:05,387 but I don't know if I can see a future with someone 442 00:21:05,388 --> 00:21:07,933 who's okay putting private things out in the open like this. 443 00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:11,851 That's me, though. I'm an open person, 444 00:21:11,852 --> 00:21:14,523 and I need to be with someone who doesn't think less of me for it. 445 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,277 What are you saying? You're saying we should break up? 446 00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,613 I guess so. 447 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:26,743 Bye, Arvind. 448 00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:33,290 Hey, sorry to show up unannounced. 449 00:21:33,291 --> 00:21:35,711 Oh, hi, Kevin. I didn't know you'd be here. 450 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:39,379 Hey, don't mind me. I'm just messing around with my kinetic sand. 451 00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:41,717 I'm building a perfectly to-scale model 452 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,342 of a Scottish castle that... Oh, no, the antechamber fell! 453 00:21:44,343 --> 00:21:46,430 I assume you're here to talk about yesterday? 454 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,596 - Yep. - And what are you here for? 455 00:21:48,597 --> 00:21:49,973 Mostly chime ins. 456 00:21:49,974 --> 00:21:51,725 I have another question about my picture. 457 00:21:51,726 --> 00:21:55,562 Wait, are you kidding? I figured you'd come here to apologize. 458 00:21:55,563 --> 00:21:59,941 Apologize? This little bitch is out of his mind. Continue, Kimberly. 459 00:21:59,942 --> 00:22:02,319 So, I know you deleted my picture from your phone, 460 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,155 but I don't know if you have any other copies backed up somewhere. 461 00:22:05,156 --> 00:22:08,616 God, you're so paranoid. What do you think I'd do with this photo? 462 00:22:08,617 --> 00:22:10,704 Kevin, shut the fuck up. 463 00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:14,039 Wait, what was that about? Did you show him my photo? 464 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,875 What? No. Kimberly, I... You sound insane, okay? 465 00:22:16,876 --> 00:22:17,959 You need to calm down. 466 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,171 Oh, I know this little ho-bag did not just tell 467 00:22:21,172 --> 00:22:25,133 an insane woman to calm down. 468 00:22:25,134 --> 00:22:29,431 Enough is enough. Delete all the backups in front of us right now. 469 00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:31,767 Okay. And if I don't, what are you gonna do? 470 00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:36,563 Grab his phone. Use his face to unlock it. 471 00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:38,104 Kevin, help me! 472 00:22:38,105 --> 00:22:41,691 If you fucking move, Kevin, my foot will be on your dick so fast, 473 00:22:41,692 --> 00:22:43,973 - your balls will spin! - Sorry, dude, you're on your own. 474 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:46,239 Quit moving your face. 475 00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:48,531 - I'm in! - What are you doing? 476 00:22:48,532 --> 00:22:50,075 There are no copies of that photo on my phone. 477 00:22:50,076 --> 00:22:55,080 That's not what I'm looking for. Okay. Here it is. 312-675-2454. 478 00:22:55,081 --> 00:22:56,873 - Wait, that's my mom's number. - Yeah. 479 00:22:56,874 --> 00:22:59,250 And if you don't delete every single copy of my photo, 480 00:22:59,251 --> 00:23:01,669 I bet she'd be really disappointed to find out that her son 481 00:23:01,670 --> 00:23:02,754 is a disgusting scumbag. 482 00:23:02,755 --> 00:23:05,632 - You wouldn't. - She would. She loves talking to moms. 483 00:23:05,633 --> 00:23:07,759 That's why she still has a Facebook account. 484 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,636 - Mmm-hmm. - Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. Fine! 485 00:23:09,637 --> 00:23:10,931 Jesus Christ! 486 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,351 Look, I'll delete the backups. 487 00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:17,104 But this just proves my point. You are crazy. 488 00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:20,438 You know what? I'm okay with that. I like being a little crazy. 489 00:23:20,439 --> 00:23:21,733 - Me too, bitch. - Yeah. 490 00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,610 Livin' the vida loca. 491 00:23:27,989 --> 00:23:31,576 I don't understand how one person needs this much makeup. 492 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,245 You have one face. 493 00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:36,373 Just so you know, those two boxes are also makeup. 494 00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:38,748 Oh, could you toss me my lifter plump gloss? 495 00:23:38,749 --> 00:23:43,128 I honestly have no idea how to find that or what part of your body it would go on. 496 00:23:43,129 --> 00:23:48,218 Okay. It goes on your lips and it plumps them because it's spicy. 497 00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:51,136 Thank God, you're moving in. I have so much to learn. 498 00:23:51,137 --> 00:23:52,637 Like conditioner... 499 00:23:52,638 --> 00:23:54,055 is that an everyday thing 500 00:23:54,056 --> 00:23:56,101 or do I just use it at hotels? 501 00:23:56,685 --> 00:23:58,309 Taylor, are you okay? 502 00:23:58,310 --> 00:24:00,522 My aunt just texted me that my mom's getting married. 503 00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:02,399 Is that bad news? 504 00:24:02,649 --> 00:24:05,483 Well, it's typical I'd find out this way 505 00:24:05,484 --> 00:24:07,654 because I haven't spoken to my mom in years. 506 00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:11,489 Well, maybe the wedding is a good opportunity 507 00:24:11,490 --> 00:24:12,615 for you guys to reconnect. 508 00:24:12,616 --> 00:24:14,202 Not much chance of that. 509 00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:17,620 According to my aunt, my mom's getting married tomorrow, so... 510 00:24:17,621 --> 00:24:20,167 Oh, shit. That sucks. 511 00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:22,250 I think I just need some air, so... 512 00:24:22,251 --> 00:24:24,379 I can come with you if you want company. 513 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,591 Thanks, but I would rather be alone. 514 00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:37,392 Thanks for standing up for me today at rehearsal. 515 00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:39,267 It meant a lot. 516 00:24:39,268 --> 00:24:41,478 Hey, I'm glad you got the role. You deserved it. 517 00:24:41,479 --> 00:24:43,815 I wasn't sure if you liked me anymore. 518 00:24:43,982 --> 00:24:49,029 Especially, after we tried to have... [whispers] sex. 519 00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:51,990 Kacey, come on. 520 00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:56,328 Obviously, I still like you. I like you whether or not we have sex. 521 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:57,537 You do? 522 00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:00,371 So then why did you leave my room? 523 00:25:00,372 --> 00:25:02,957 I've never taken anyone's virginity before. 524 00:25:02,958 --> 00:25:05,668 I guess I got scared about having that responsibility. 525 00:25:05,669 --> 00:25:10,715 So, you're saying you weren't ready to lose my virginity? 526 00:25:10,716 --> 00:25:14,260 Yeah, I guess that is what I'm saying. Is that weird? 527 00:25:14,261 --> 00:25:15,472 No. 528 00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:18,015 It's sweet. 529 00:25:20,143 --> 00:25:21,186 Are you ready now? 530 00:25:21,311 --> 00:25:23,522 I could be, if you are. 531 00:25:24,981 --> 00:25:25,981 Yeah. 532 00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:28,568 And I really want my first time to be with you. 533 00:25:28,693 --> 00:25:29,693 I'd like that. 534 00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:35,033 But maybe I could choose the music this time? 535 00:25:35,158 --> 00:25:38,912 Maybe something not from an animated film. 536 00:25:52,592 --> 00:25:53,885 Damn, this thing is heavy. 537 00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:56,594 I didn't know I'd have to do a dead lift just to stay warm. 538 00:25:56,595 --> 00:25:58,012 Just leave it. 539 00:25:58,013 --> 00:26:04,013 I've been waiting for so long For something good to come 540 00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:12,481 Seasons change, leave But I still feel your love 541 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:17,325 I know days are getting slow... 542 00:26:18,159 --> 00:26:19,450 So, what do you think? 543 00:26:19,451 --> 00:26:22,914 This is gonna be so funny. I can't wait for you to perform it at the next show. 544 00:26:24,457 --> 00:26:27,544 This is great. 545 00:26:27,794 --> 00:26:31,713 After all that we've been through 546 00:26:31,714 --> 00:26:37,714 I still wanna take a walk with you Into the garden... 547 00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:49,940 {\an8}Just that.